Instructions
A couple of years ago, I was asked by my TV network to help out on a new show where ordinary Australians and TV presenters would try to set new world records. Not the ‘Running 100m under 9.79 seconds’ kind of records, more the ‘exotic’ forms.
You know. The most number of toilet plungers that can successfully been thrown against a human back and stuck in less than a minute. The most T-shirts worn at one time (121 in case you were wondering). The most underpants worn at one time (an eye-watering 211).
I had a crack at the most number of pancakes that can be flipped and caught in 1 minute. Coming in at an exhausting 57, I found I was just 3 shy of a new record. Wow, I thought, let’s go again. At that point the Guinness world record moderator told me that 500 people had reached the same point, and none had gone further, at which point my enthusiasm waned.
But my interest in world records was piqued again late last year when a small note in the paper caught my eye. A new record had been set for the largest portion of spaghetti Bolognese. Filling an entire swimming pool, it consisted of 6½ tonnes of cooked pasta, 3½ tonnes of meat sauce, and 400kg of parmesan cheese.
I mean, like, wow!!! That sets a new record in stupid world records. It was an absurd display of wanton waste. As I read further, it transpired that the feat had been performed by the hard-working team at Buca di Beppo, an American chain of restaurants specialising in southern Italian food.
As someone with more than a passing appreciation of the fine margins in running an eatery, I was intrigued by how a simple restaurant (or even a chain) could afford, or would want to, attempt to squander so much money.
Imagine my utter lack of surprise to discover that Buca di Beppo is a subsidiary of the larger-than-life Planet Hollywood. Only in La-La-Land, or their eateries, could this kind of grotesque immoderation form the basis for a new champion.
I can only hope it was computer animated.
Spaghetti Bolognese