OCTOPUS

by Ed Halmagyi

Instructions

On the north-west tip of Cyprus lies the Arkamas peninsula, home to the famous Baths of Aphrodite. These naturally-occurring rockpools are steeped in Greek mythology and possess reputed powers to make couples fertile. The central rock was apparently blessed by the love goddess herself, and swimming around it the together will help childless lovers get themselves up the duff. According to the locals you swim clockwise to get a boy, anti-clockwise for girls.

I visited the Baths a while back with some friends who were on the verge of marriage and contemplating parenthood. While Shaun and Julie dabbled in a spot progeny-inducing Greek voodoo, I took the contraceptive approach and went instead for a swim in the sea. While it’s true that the eastern Mediterranean has been extensively over-fished, there’s still a reasonable amount of sea life to enjoy. In particular, there’s plenty of octopus.

I simply observed the submarine gallery, however some local fellows swimming nearby took a more predatory approach, managing to grab a fairly large specimen for lunch. The traditional Greek approach to tenderising an octopus is rather analog: beat it against a textured rock for ten minutes. And so I was treated to the sight of a bearded and slightly bedraggled Cypriot man assaulting an octopus, and all the while he smiled and whistled traditional folk tunes. In some ways the world has not changed much in the last thousand years.

You can recognise an octopus’s home underwater by the pile of shells outside their hole. Octopi mostly eat that which other fish cannot manage, crustaceans. They’ll happily chew through crayfish, crabs, nautilus. An octopus’ boneless body is so flexible that it can extract a lobster from inside its carapace, while leaving the shell perfectly intact.

Octopus is still tenderised commercially today, although methods have changed somewhat. No longer do fishermen flail their catch on a rock, instead they process thirty kilos at a time by churning them in a cement mixer dedicated to the task. It’s hilarious! Just have a look behind any of the shops at the fish market next time you’re there.
Braised octopus with tomatoes and olives